Punishment

Punishment

So Frenulum is the master of friendly torture. Not like that, pigs, let me explain…

With being a single mom of 7 kids she has had to give out punishments from time to time. And by from time to time, I mean daily; sometimes multiple punishments to the same person in the same day. Layered punishment. I wasn’t even aware that was a thing. Trust and believe it is.

I am going to do what I do best…create a list of bullet points. Enjoy.

· Standing in the corner is an oldie but a goodie. We once had the ten year old stand in the corner. She was told not to move ‘til she was told she could. We went shopping and then to a movie and she was still in the corner when we got back. I fully expected her to be sitting when we returned, and told Frenulum so. She said under her breath “she better not be”. She was right.

· Just the other night one of the seven year olds was riding her scooter in the street and two blocks away; both are no-no’s. She was given one of the old standards as well; go to bed with no dinner. I thought that was outlawed by the Geneva Convention. (Google that and laugh along with those that remember Hogan’s Heroes)

· A particular favorite of mine as a kid seems to be having a resurgence; writing lines. One particular line writing incident was something that probably deserves its own blog, but I will shorten it here a bit. Ten likes to lie. I mean she likes it like I like pizza. She likes it a lot. She was caught lying and was given lines at around noon one day while the kids were off school. When Frenulum arrived home from work @4:30 she was greeted with “I’m done mom” and was handed a bundle of paper. This is odd since the kids usually use notepads for writing, but these were printed pages of the line typed 5000 times. (mind you, typing was not the punishment) Ten proceeded to tell her mom she typed it out instead of writing it to make it neater, or some random lie. When told typing was not the directions, she said she wasn’t told she couldn’t type it, and that typing was also writing. Bold this one is (in my Yoda voice). She also said she didn’t copy and paste it. But when confronted with the math that she couldn’t possibly have typed the sentence 5000 times in the allotted time, unless she was about 6 times faster than the Guinness World Record holder for speed typing, her reply was “well maybe I am”. Needless to say she didn’t get away with that.

· A new favorite of mine is food punishments. Flags was put on oatmeal punishment. That means he had oatmeal for every meal ‘til his time was served. Frenulum is also the master of the menu, so the rest of the family had all of his favorites while he had oatmeal. He hates oatmeal. When Flags and Flower were punished for the tablet incident in the last blog, they were given a combined punishment. Flower had to write lines while Flags had oatmeal. He was on oatmeal ‘til she finished her lines, and since she was mad he dropped the dime on her, she was writing slowly. Really slowly. Because no one should enjoy punishment we switched them at the midpoint. Muwhahahahahahahhaha (tapping fingertips maniacally). I never want to be on her bad side. EVER!!!!!!

I will end with the point sheet. I have removed the real names of the younger kids and replaced them with XXXX. This had gone away, but is also about to be reinstated. A person is given a number of points for their punishment. In addition to one of the above, they need to work their way back to zero via the below tasks. Frenulum is a mad scientist of punishment. Seriously never want her mad at me.

CONGRATULATIONS!

You have been grounded because you:

Lied

Took food/drinks without asking

Didn’t do a chore

Talked back

Fought with Siblings

To get off of your grounding, you must earn _____ points by doing any of the following:

Write a nice letter to someone in the family– must be a page long 10 points __________

Prepare and cook dinner 30 points __________

Clean and organize the pantry (EVERY shelf) 50 points __________

Clean the fridge (inside) and freezer 50 points __________

Clean all downstairs baseboards 50 points __________

Wipe down all ceiling fans (EVERY ONE) 50 points __________

Sweep and Mop the garage 30 points __________

Sweep the driveway and back porch 25 points __________

Clean out microwave 10 points __________

Clean oven 30 points __________

Carpet clean every stair (use small carpet cleaner) 75 points __________

Help XXXX read for 1 hour 50 points __________

Windex all first floor windows OUTSIDE 35 points __________

Clean out the curbside garbage bins (soapy water…) 75 Points __________

Vacuum all carpet in the house 30 Points __________

Walk the dogs for a minimum of 30 min 20 points __________

Clean out all inside garbage cans (soapy water…) 25 points __________

Help XXXX read for 1 hour 25 points __________

Practice math with XXXX for 1 hour 30 points __________

Practice spelling with XXXX for 1 hour 25 points __________

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

One comment on “Punishment”