I’ve lied to you
The same way that I always do
This is the last smile
That I’ll fake for the sake of being with you
The same way that I always do
This is the last smile
That I’ll fake for the sake of being with you
(Everything falls apart, even the people who never frown eventually break down)
The sacrifice of hiding in a lie
(Everything has to end, you’ll soon find we’re out of time left to watch it all unwind)
The sacrifice is never knowing
Why I never walked away
Why I played myself this way
Now I see your testing me pushes me away
To quote Gary “Baba Booey” Del’Abate, “My professional life is at like a 9, but my personal life is at like a 2”. Good times. I have had an amazing 2 months work wise. I taught to a couple hundred of my new co-workers and they were amazing. The reps were receptive and the classes went smooth. The managers couldn’t have been more complimentary. I got a great feeling from the classes face-to-face and I was pretty happy. I then took a weeks vacation in NYC (I am sure I will write about that soon…couple good stories) and returned to the class survey results forwarded to me from my boss. They were over-the-top awesome. I am glad to see that my personal delivery style does indeed play in the South. I can tell you I was more than a little worried about the manager feedback, but there was not a negative comment at all. So why am I not on cloud 9?????? I am still in the BUCKLE.
While in NYC I stole a fashion style from a co-worker named after a serial killer on Showtime. (I was gonna call him Captain Crunch…get it…Cereal, Serial…whatevershutupihateyou) He started to wear colorful socks every day. The sock color doesn’t go with the other clothes he wore and it became a conversation starter. I have not been known for my fashion sense…quite the opposite if I am being completely honest…and I though I would adopt this once he departed and I told him so. He liked the idea of me starting a wacky sock franchise and took me on a shopping spree to begin my collection. I bought over 20 pairs of socks to start and have added many more since then. I then threw all my old socks away. ALL OF THEM. I kept a few pairs of old white gym socks for when I wear shorts, but any other time I am wearing awesomely colorful, patterned, striped, purple, pink, bright red, orange or yellow socks. AND IT MAKES ME HAPPY. It also makes people in the Buckle angry.
I mentioned this fashion journey in an abbreviated version to one of my first classes, not one mentioned above, and I was told that it must be nice to “have it like that” to be able to throw away clothes. I also mentioned my disdain for a certain mass retailer named after the thing that holds up the roof on your house (figure it out people) and was told “some of us don’t have a choice” but to shop there, and I should be happy for the blessings I have been given in life. All I wanted to do was make them laugh. Good times indeed…but I digress.
As I am sure I have mentioned before, I am not one to care what people think. Of me, of themselves, of mostly anything really. If I have an opinion on an issue, it matters more than yours does. No matter whom you are, no matter what the subject, and no matter what my level of information is on that subject. It is just a fact and you should get over it if it hurts you to know this. I matter more than most. (insert raspberry tongue sound here) That being said (shout out to R.O. in Ohio…how’s the Bon Jovi belt sir?), I heard someone today mention my bright pink socks, and laughed, and it made me cringe a little. I actually don’t care for the person that made the comment one iota…I was just a tad shocked I cared at all. I left the room shortly after and sat trying to figure out why I was bothered. It didn’t take me long to figure it out…I am such a fish out of water here I am reacting to any negative press. I actually want people to like me????? What is happening to me? I need to get this whole “caring what others think” deal under control, PRONTO. I can’t have this seeping from RAM (short term memory) onto the hard drive. This just won’t do at all. No es bueno.
I am sure this sudden flash of emotion will pass and I will go back to being the only one that matters. Things are turning around for me here in the Buckle. I was told today I was sent here for a purpose and maybe the fire, from the excellent reception and feedback that I received, will push me to get back to being the best damn trainer that ever…ahh, trained??? LOL.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it….