I’m in a New York state of mind

New York, concrete jungle where dreams are made of
There’s nothin’ you can’t do
Now you’re in New York
These streets will make you feel brand new
Big lights will inspire you
Let’s hear it for New York, New York,New York.

I recently relocated to South Carolina. I transferred for many reasons, but first and foremost is love. I was in the final planning stages of the move when I was informed by my not-even-really-yet-my-boss boss that I was needed in New York City, supposedly for four weeks. But the person who sat next to me at work in Jax laughed when I told him the expected time frame. He said he would be surprised if I was back in SC before the end of the year.

I hate him for being right. I was in New York for one week hints were dropped that I was needed till the end of the year. Whether I brought it up first or it was suggested by someone else is open to interpretation. Either way, I will be in New York till the end of the year.

Some notes and observations:

· The new way of panhandling is to ask for “a swipe” in the subway since many commuters purchase an unlimited MTA card for the entire month. It is not just the “residentially challenged,” but, more often than not, kids with homes.

· The memo that the pants-belted-below-the-bottom-of-the-ass phenomenon is now over apparently never reached New York.

· Junior’s Restaurant was made famous by Sean Diddy Combs in an episode of “Making the Band” when he had a group of wanna-be rap stars walk across the Brooklyn Bridge in the middle of the night to get him a slice of cheesecake. New Yorkers never go there, ever.

· I saw my first real live protest this past weekend. I was checking out my new neighborhood in the Financial District and saw police on horseback, barricades and loads of uniformed men in and around the New York Stock Exchange. Apparently people are upset that CEOs of some financial giants are making huge bonuses. WHATEVER!!!!

· It appears the rules of no longer being able to beat your children don’t apply in New York. It reminds me of my youth, when parents (read: my parents) would beat their kids. I remember being beaten by a neighbor for some gigantic offense, and when I got home the real beating began. I also remember the sound of the oversized buckle of my father’s belt slapping against the door daily as a reminder of beatings yet to come. GOOD TIMES BABY!!!!!!

· Seems that using the “F” word, the “N” word and colorful descriptive phrases like “short dick muthafucka” and “broke ass, shiftless negro” on a cell phone while walking through Target with your children is not only acceptable, but absolutely imperative.

· Looking around you at the wonders of the city and the magnificence of one building after another reaching up into the sky, making eye contact, or even saying good morning, excuse me or sorry if you bump into someone gives will give you away as a visitor to this fine metropolis and as such, someone to be looked down upon and possibly assaulted. (Just a warning from my new hire class: This has not actually happened yet…..YET!!!)

· Having the song “New York, New York,” “Empire State of Mind” or anything that expounds on the awesomeness that is Gotham makes one a “friggin punk” and someone to be shunned. To quote Captain Crunch (the name I will use for a co-worker named after a popular serial killer on a very popular Showtime series about a forensic investigator that is also an avenging mass murderer), when my girlfriend’s ring tone by Jay-Z featuring Alicia Keys played, “awkward.” I am quite sure I will be quoting the Captain again and again as this trip plays itself out.

· It seems that speed limits do not exist here. Cabs have two speeds: Fast and stop (much like a go cart). And there seems to e no reason to stop when your side view mirror clips another one in the course of navigating the large-scale Frogger game that is the traffic situation here 24/7.

I will continue my observations and promise delays of less than five months between blog updates, going forward. New love tends to command all of your attention, and it has been better for me to focus on Sugarbaker and the family as I begin this new journey. I love you all, but get over it people.

That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.

What I’ve felt, what I’ve known
Sick and tired, I stand alone
Could you be there, ’cause I’m the one who waits for you
Or are you unforgiven too?

No one sent me a link, so here is another of my favorites. If you have a cool link, send it to me and if I love it too, I might add it here. Till then, enjoy “Shy Ronnie” as a shout out to a new friend and co-worker and as always, enjoy. http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/digital-short-shy-ronnie/1182201/

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