Naughty Nurse (part 1)

Over the last 2 years my life has gone through many changes. I went from living in Georgia to returning to the so called “Sunshine State”. I am still married, but have been separated for over a year and a half. I am living alone for the first time in my entire life. I am on a Vision Quest to find out who Steve Rogers (no real names here) is. I can assure anyone that cares that this journey hadhas not been without it’s share of hiccups, both personal and professional. I lost my job and was rehired by the same company a few months later, but I almost made ten years of a somewhat competent training and managerial career go down the drain over a girl. And when I say girl, she was of legal age, but still a girl. We won’t get to her for quite some time though. Sorry JC. Your day is coming!!!! Let’s talk about RN first, shall we?

I met RN through a dating web site. As I have said, I highly recommend that you do not follow my example. Use the social skills most people cultivated in their lives to interact in the real world. Me, I live in a Matrix/pseudo reality and don’t possess the skills or abilities most middle school humans have when it comes to the opposite sex. I am not looking for anyone to tell me I am wrong here, trust and believe I am very self aware and know what I am talking about here.

So I actually think she initiated contact, but I could be wrong. We talked online a few times and the next step is email. Email becomes texts as the other person feels more comfortable with you having their number and then comes the actual phone conversation. No pressure here huh? It’s not like the other person has any preconceived notions about who and what you are at all, right? And what if they have a stupid stutter or a lisp? Drew Barrymore, depending on the movie and the camera angle can be either cute, hot or not attractive at all, but to hear that lisp makes me want to retch every time. It makes me think she is uneducated and a little upidstay (that is Pig Latin- Google it) RN is a nurse, hence the name. Most people have no idea of the amount of schooling that a nurse needs to complete to become licensed. I didn’t. Let’s just say RN was not book stupid. Life stupid, maybe. Let’s judge her together, shall we?

So we decided on a first date. RN said she wanted to plan the entire thing. We had talked on the phone for like 2 weeks and there was a lot of anticipation on both of our parts. We had talked about the people that use a picture on their online profile from the 80’s and how lame this was and exchanged pictures with a newspaper in our hands like a kidnapping victim to show the date(my idea…yeah, we will talk about Peter Brady later, too). RN asked a lot of questions, as did I of her, to try to figure out the other person’s likes and dislikes. I like French salad dressing. Ken’s Steak House Low Fat Country French to get specific. She asked that among other questions, so I had no idea my salad dressing would come up on our first date. Also something she called “emergency chocolate”.

We met at a neutral place and she joined me in my truck. She didn’t feel quite safe enough to meet me at my apartment, which I agreed with (after a bunny on the stove incident in my past), so we met at the Harley Davidson dealership on Southside across from the hooker LaQuinta hotel (trust me on this one- I will tell that story another time, too). She didn’t tell me where we were going- only saying I needed to wear socks and bring a jacket. The date was Jan 7^th, 3 days before my birthday mentioned in the Coupon story earlier this week (and just to retort, Coupon, I did tell you I had other people that wanted to take me out. Check yo’ self. Second, you did offer to pay me back, just after telling Thing 1 how you had no money to pay for an adult burger and she had to order from the kids menu. Don’t front!) and RN had a gift bag in her hand when she got in my truck. I was excited because since I have no family or close friends to speak of in Jax, I was looking at a gift-less birthday. She held the bag away from me so I couldn’t catch a glimpse of its contents. She just told me that good things came to he who waited (sexual innuendo??? I wish).

She gave me limited directions and we finally arrived at an Italian restaurant. I remembered telling her I have a pizza place, but good Italian food so far has eluded me here in Jax. I opened her door for her, being the perfect gentleman I am. She handed me the bag to hold while she extricated herself from my truck only after telling me I could not look yet. I followed instructions, but only after looking straight down into the bag and seeing nothing other than tissue paper. I will tell you this bag was heavy. Not concrete brick heavy, but it had a significant heft to it. We headed into the restaurant, which ended up sucking by the way (and thus the search continues for a good Italian spot. Help a brother out, my Jax followers?) and I gave the hostess my name as Steve, Steve Rogers. RN looked at me like she might have been picked up by the wrong guy and was afraid there was a rag with chlorophorm and a handful of black Hefty bags in her future. I told the brief version of my pseudonym’s origin and she laughed. It was a nice laugh, with lots of smiling, and I was would venture to say we were both happy so far. SO FAR.

We are seated and before the waitress brings our menus RN hands me the bag and tells me to hold it, but again, no peeking. We order salads and I am not surprised to hear they do not have French dressing. RN tells me to open the bag now and it contains not 1, but 2 bottles of Ken’s dressing and a large bag of Ghirardelli Milk Chocolate. I am beaming with a smile from ear to ear and, believe it or not, am fighting back tears. No one I have dated has shown the slightest interest in my likes and dislikes (sorry Coupon, but if you search your heart you know this to be true), much less provided for me something I would otherwise had to do without. It was pretty friggin’ amazing. She was just watching me and could see I was getting choked up. She reached across the table and touched my hand, and I knew this was going to be a special night. And it was. If I am being honest with myself, this was one of the best nights I have had in a few years. Sad, but true.

We finished dinner and sat across from the table looking into each other’s eyes for a while. It was like we were the only ones in the place. It was a great feeling that someone I had really just met (even though we had been talking on the phone for weeks) cared so much about me and my happiness. I know, it was only salad dressing, but it was really so much more. It was oh, so much more.

I’m going to stop here because this is really long. Sorry. You’ll have to come back for part 2 later this week or maybe next week. I have a busy weekend of friends, Thing #1’s confirmation and me wearing a suit out with friends.