I am going to apologize in advance as this might not be as entertaining as previous entries. I just feel some things have to be said and since this is my blog, to quote the prophet Mike Shinoda, I ask that you “turn my mic up louder; I’ve got to say something”. If you think this is about you, you’re not being vain, it just might be. If you think it is about everyone but you, you’re probably wrong and it is about you. OK, double tap on the microphone to make sure it is on. “Testing, one, two, syphilis, syphilis”. And one more pop culture reference only a few will get- “Jesus was black, Ronald Reagan was the devil, and the government is lying about 9/11. Thank you for your time and good night”. (Huey Freeman, Boondocks, 2005).
I want to talk about drama for a minute here. I have people that don’t like me in life. I know, I found this hard to swallow at first too (and that’s what she said), but it is true. Ex wife #1 for instance, would fall in that category. # 2 maybe not so much, but definitely #1. I doubt, however, that many people would accuse me of being “about the drama”.
Being single and relocating to Jacksonville Jacksonville
When I mention the football thing people just look at me like I am some giant pussy (was gonna write punk, but this make my point clearer), but the no drinking thing is much worse. People automatically think 12 stepper, and this opens the debate of whether alcoholism is a disease or am I just a pussy for this too. When I tell them I am not a friend of Bill W (Google it, bitch), then I am faced with the look that says I am DEFINITELY a pussy. You know what people, it is a choice. BLOW ME!!!! As you may have noticed if you have read at least this far, I don’t have a filter on what I say. If I were to drink, I would lose the tiny bit of filter that is in place, and it would be a whole lot more fun at the Meetup.com events I attend. Oh, let me talk about that, since that is what started this drama talk in the first place.
I joined a handful of Meetup.com groups when I knew I was moving to Jax, and one of them is (name withheld at my request). I really like the people in this group, many of the events we do, and, say what you will about us if you are in another group, but our women will fight your women in a Jello battle royal and win hands down. (Mud wrestling is soooo1981, but the scene in Stripes with John Candy was priceless). My hope was to meet people in my new town that could help me get out of my apartment with as little drama as possible. HAHAHAHA.
I really don’t want to go into specifics, but let’s just say the old adage “the more things change, the more they stay the same” really applies. I remember the cliques and drama that were rampant in high school, and assumed most people would have grown out of that when they’ve hit whatever age true adulthood happens. If you don’t see where this is going, stop reading now and go back to your Kardashian marathon on E!, this is not gonna make much sense to you….Did they leave? Good, lets talk about them. What the fuck is with all the drama some people seem to surround themselves with? It is like a Perfect Storm (shout out to Markie Mark and Dr. Doug Ross from ER as boat guys that suck at their jobs) of poop. And it is always the ones that profess to be “drama free” or say how they “can’t stand drama” that seem to thrive in an environment of constant turmoil. It is ok if you want to lie to us, we really know the truth about you anyway, but please stop lying to yourself. Own it mutha’ fucker!!!
I was going to go into great detail sighting specific examples with times, dates and attendees as well as the details as I know them (like mentioning that one guy asked me if i “wanted to go” because I compared him to a “feminine hygiene product”. I really don’t think that is necessary as if you are still with me, you have at least ten examples you have witnessed yourself and to list it here would only be perpetuating the drama. Maybe this is the best place to end with 2 things.
1. If you know you are dramatic, stop saying how you don’t like drama. It flows through your veins and is the lifeblood of your existence. Own it byotch!!!
2. Save the drama for yo’ mama. Some of us don’t care to be sucked into the swirling vortex of horseshit that surrounds you. Enjoy it with those that are of your ilk, and there are plenty of them.
And in a shout-out to Jim Reihle from the Tanner In The Morning show from back in the day, “But that’s just my opinion, not necessarily that of Y-100 ownership or management. We welcome your comments.”
I loved "swirling vortex of horseshit"!
Funny how feminine hygiene products (aka D-bags) don't know that that is what they truly are…prob because the drama-free feed their egos. Jello battle royal…lol…yet sooo true!
Tom – known you for more years than I can remember, but like to quote Pretty in Pink, since your into movies: I'd rather be alone for the right reasons than with someone for the wrong ones" – or some crap like that.
It's ok to be by yourself, instead of crap like wife #1. And if meetup groups are drama queens or wannabes start your own group, be the master of your domain, so to speak 🙂
PS always respected that you did not drink.
Love the Boondocks reference.. I'm surprised you didn't use a Riley quote. LOL
Passionate. Preach!