So I have decided everyone but me is a horrible driver. As most of you know I have moved to Arizona. People here are the worst drivers I have ever seen by far. I was thinking this through before I began to write and I wondered if this might be because of the “everyone wins” attitude that is pervasive in today’s society. Everyone is the most important person ever as well as the most interesting person on the planet. It could also be because people are all high on the “medically necessary” usage of a formerly illegally smoked plant product.
In the vein of full disclosure, I recently rear-ended a car while I was driving to work. I guess the best way to describe it is driving while distracted.I have a weird OCD thing where I roll things between my fingers all the time, but especially while driving (it is calming to me so stop judging). If you look on the floor around the garbage can in my office it is littered with tiny pieces of paper. I roll them till they begin to look dirty or bend and are no longer “perfect” and then they must be discarded and I start over.
I have a bunch of T-pins (they are push pins but are shaped like a T at the top instead of having a little colored or clear plastic bulb on the top) in my cup holder I roll while driving but always when I am alone. I was rolling one of these and it dropped on the floor as they do because they are super tiny and thin. I reached down to pick it up and SMASH!!!! But I digress…
As I mentioned we had a bad storm a week or so ago. It doesn’t rain here very often, but when it does, people drive like they are in a funeral…slow and blinkers. They will also sometimes stop under the overpass and wait out the rain. Seriously? It’s rain people. It doesn’t rain fire or rocks.
Another thing is people just go where they want. There is no waiting for someone to slow and waive you in to the flow of traffic. The blinker is an “indicator” you want to make a move, not a hall pass to simply do it. And to be clear, if I let you in, the thank you wave is not optional. It is expected and good form. If you don’t give me one, and you look in your rear-view mirror, You will see me saying something horrible about your mother or telling you how no one likes you and you should drive off a bridge. I’m just sayin’.
I have noticed a strange thing where slower traffic doesn’t know to keep to the right. That is something I knew before I drove. There are signs in Florida to tell everyone this is the expectation. Here people drive the exact same speed almost in a straight line across all lanes of traffic. They also don’t seem to understand what blinking lights mean when I flick them as I approach the blockage in the artery of the highway of life. Get out of my way. And in case you didn’t know, it is ok to go up to 10 miles over the speed limit in almost every major road across the country.
And when did it become ok for 18 wheelers to drive in the far left hand lane. I also know there are signs saying all trucks need to stay in the right hand lanes as well. I understand that they are bringing much needed consumer goods to the mass retailers I and others frequent, just get over andoutta my way.
Stop texting while driving. I am not going to say I have never done this, just be smart. Wait till you get to a stop light or use Siri. She isn’t smart or perfect, but neither are you.
A few quickies: People, learn how to merge. It is a major issue and will help the rest of us avoid the biggest contributor to road rage. If you miss your turn and figure it out at the last minute, go around the block and come back. Blocking the straight lane you are in to get into the turn lane makes us hate you. It is perfectly legal to make a right turn on a red light. Trust me. We have school zones here that are not just in effect during school hours. Stop That!!! There is no reason I need to slow down because of a closed school during the summer or at 10pm on a weekend. Stop for school busses. There is nothing that important you need to speed around a bus and endanger a child. A turn signal, as I mentioned before, is an indicator. Use it before you change lanes to let me know your intentions. Google the proper etiquette for 4 way stops. Lastly, if I am not driving fast enough for you, and there is a lane to the left of me clear, you can and should go around me. Riding my tail isn’t necessary and not going to make me love you or want to help you get where you are going.
P.S. Snow birds and people that cannot see except between the steering wheel and the dash because they are shrinking…take a cab. Get off the roads ASAP. (that was from Kimmi Ro)
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.